Marriage Conference Update

After Jesus fed 5,000 brawns with a sack lunch the disciples whimpered in nautical storm. Jesus rode the storm portside. Convinced they saw a ghost, these seasoned mariners screamed like limp-wristed sallies. Jesus wrung out his outer coat, the sails rested, and the disciples stood agape in bewilderment. Mark provided a rather understated commentary for their astonishment: "for they had not gained any insight from the incident of the loaves, but their heart was hardened" (Mk 6.52). Not gained any insight? Are you kidding? It was easier to believe a ghost than Jesus.

We are recovering from our dizzying marriage conference weekend. Some have been thankfully interested so I'll provide some post-game analysis. Perhaps it will help you and your church think through some issues. It would be sin to gain no insight from what God has done.

1. We cannot export what we do not own. We learned a valuable lesson. God will not entrust everyone "out there" to us until we're healthy "in here." We were hoping for substantial community participation. But we did not realize that we didn't own Ephesians 5.21-33, yet. God limited participation to our church with a few exceptions.

2. Ministry to marriages is meddlesome. There is no easy around it. It's easy to put a few plans together, stay on time, brew some coffee, have a few laughs and call it a conference. God taught us that He will not settle for superficialities. He will dig deep, root out, snoop around, and sweep up. If you're not ready for that then enjoy another cold one at the sports bar.

3. Ministry to marriages is rewarding. How refreshing it is to hear men who've been married for decades say, "Wow, I didn't realize how much I needed that." A new breeze blew through many couples this weekend.

4. Ministry to marriages seems intimidating, but it's really not. There are couples who are intimidated to be honest about their marriage. That's because the husband doesn't realize that he's a sinner like the rest of us. But, the remedy for "irreconcilable differences" is our Reconciling Christ (2 Cor 5.18-19). Dealing honestly with marriage is simply bringing gospel promises to bear on the home. Jesus promised that his yoke is easy and burden light (Mt 10.30). Therefore, not dealing with marriage in light of Christ's easy invite is most intimidating.

5. Healthy churches depend on healthy marriages. God confronted us with this truth: if we don't get the home right (ordered according to Christ's loving word) we won't get anything right. Churches limp often because marriages limp. Why? Because marriage is God's living parable of redemption. It is a virtual gospel tract. And if we don't invest in the most basic evangelistic picture at home then we cannot expect blazing evangelistic success in the church.

6. You need to have Rick Larson at your church soon. God has gifted him to say what needs to be said in the way you want to hear it.

That's all for now. I have a meeting with the Greens and their 16 children. Hopefully I will not harden my heart against further insight.