Is it just me or do all pastors feel on Monday like:
1. I didn't know my Bible well enough yesterday. There were too many questions left on the table.
2. I was not prepared enough in prayer and meditation. Rather, I just rushed to the pulpit after a dizzying morning of "Hellos," "I'm sorries," and "Good to see yous." The time I complained about not having should have been spent in prayer and supplication.
3. I probably said something to someone I shouldn't have.
4. I didn't say something to someone I should have.
5. I was the unfortunate and pitiable topic of yesterday's lunch conversation.
6. I failed to meet the church's expectations, whatever they were.
7. I faked my way through "worship" and hope the church didn't see through it.
8. I said nothing relevant, though I may have said some right things.
9. I spoke of holy things knowing full well holiness is the last word to describe me.
10. I am so egotistical to think yesterday was about my performance.
I don't want to feel this way as it is an affront to God's sovereign grace. It's obvious the recurring word above is "I." But, I just can't seem to help it. If you need me I'll be under my favorite rock.
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14 comments:
Hey Barry, if you don't stop sticking your elbow into my side (under this rock) I think I will have to make you find another!
You have described me to a 'T'.
I don't think a Monday goes by where I haven't said most of those to myself or to my wife!
What a heavy burden the preaching of the Word is!
Boy, I wish someone would create a blog for pastors that could figure this all out. I wonder what that Van Neste guy is doing these days.
Read this, and then come join me under the boulder that is under your rock:
"(Pride) maketh men, both in studying and preaching, to seek themselves, and deny God, when they should seek God's glory, and deny themselves. When they should inquire, What shall I say, and how shall I say it, to please God best, and do most good? it makes them ask, What shall I say, and how shall I deliver it, to be thought a learned able preacher, and to be applauded by all that hear me? When the sermon is done, pride goeth home with them, and maketh them more eager to know whether they were applauded, than whether they did prevail for the saving of souls. Were it not for shame, they could find in their hearts to ask people how they like them, and to draw out their commendations. If they perceive that they are highly thought of, they rejoice, as having attained their end; but if they see that they are considered but weak or common men, they are displeased, as having missed the prize they had in view" (Richard Baxter in The Reformed Pastor, pg. 138).
Well now I just want to cuss.
Man, just when I get the opportunity to explore and pursue the possibility of pastoral ministry, you've gotta post something like this, BJ. THANKS! ;-)
Rae, Rae, Rae, you mistakenly assume I (or the other guys here) represent the prototypical pastor(s). I am a timid cocktail made up of 4-parts sinner, 1-part pastor. You, however, need not be such. You explore and pursue with all vigor, making sure your Mondays aren't like mine.
Cussing and drinking cocktails!? What's going on down in the Cove?
Grace (hiccup) abounds in Texas.
I'll see you in March!!!
Hey Guys!
How is Tuesday?
Seriously, this is pretty common among pastors I know (including myself) and many of those from the past whom I admire. At one level it is unavoidable. What would it say about us if we could approach such holy things as expounding for the people of God the WOrd of God, and then walk away nonchalantly? Exposure to the holy makes us all the more aware of our lack. Then, there is always more we could have done- you could always have read, studied prayed, visited a bit more. We always need more conformity to Christ.
So on the one hand this is just right. However, we must fight other aspects of it. We can allow this to lead us to despondency. When we do this we expose for ourselves that we are resting in our righteousness rather than Christ's. Let our deficiencies drive us to the cross once again, with greater awareness of our need and as a result greater experience of His grace. Let us remind ourselves that what our churches need is not a perfect pastor (we are not Christ's substitutes), but one who knows repentance and grace, one acquainted with soul struggle, and, yes, one who is making some progress along the way.
Some of this is mentioned in Luther's piece where he says temptation is a necessary ingredient for becoming a good theologian (http://rvanneste.blogspot.com/2006/01/how-to-be-great-theologian.html).
The cross: it takes our guilt away,
it holds the fainting spirit up;
it cheers with hope the gloomy day,
and sweetens every bitter cup.
It makes the coward spirit brave,
and nerves the feeble arm for fight;
it takes its terror from the grave,
and gilds the bed of death with light.
Previous quote, from a hymn by Thomas Kelly
Now, we're getting somewhere. Thanks be to God in Christ Jesus!
Thank you, Rae. I had Part 1 already and was pining for part 2, which I could never find. This is a must read for us all.
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